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Bowie General > I still can't listen

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homebrewPosted at 2016-02-21 04:00:49(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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It's been more than a month now and I am still devastated. There is no one else who would understand. Every time I try to listen to a Bowie album or bootleg or watch a video or MTV Live broadcasts once again the Five Years documentary (which they've done at least three times in the last four weeks) I get choked up. I can not watch. I can not listen. Now I understand what Don McLean meant when he sang about the day the music died. It's just all hollow and empty now. There is no more joy. :-(


""I don't begrudge any artist for finding an audience"
- David Bowie abt. 1987
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KiwikidPosted at 2016-02-21 04:33:10(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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I've stopped listening to live stuff at moment that gets me, to think I'll never get to see him in concert again,  a lot of studio stuff fine with but then it will have it's moments can listen to it one day but not the next.


Bless the Tapers and Uploaders they make the Music Live
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40compassesPosted at 2016-02-21 04:41:26(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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Still in denial here, playing his music constantly - on the bike, at home, in the car, walking, something of an opportunity to revisit neglected and overlooked albums and songs.

It's an ill wind that blows no good.

Currently playing A Cat From London - loudly.

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scruffymurphPosted at 2016-02-21 08:22:08(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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I am finding watching live performances very, very difficult.

The intense grief phase usually lasts 3-6 months; the heavy grief goes on for 12 months.

Often, the loss never fully goes away.

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DavesolarDonatedPosted at 2016-02-21 08:52:29(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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scruffymurph wrote:

I am finding watching live performances very, very difficult.The intense grief phase usually lasts 3-6 months; the heavy grief goes on for 12 months.Often, the loss never fully goes away.

Same with me, I downloaded all the good new stuff since that sorrow day, but just can't listen nor see any of it. I get to the 2. or 3. song - and the tears fall through my face, I get hiccups and MUST stop the music.
I always knew it would be hard, but could never imagine how hard it gets - my world will never be the same I fear, my heart split in pieces.

                      REST IN PEACE YOU MOST BELOVED

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interplayDonatedPosted at 2016-02-22 17:43:27(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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I can understand all that. I am still a mess about David's death, but he told you it was coming years ago, and deep down we knew it was going to happen, just like our own passing.
For me, it took weeks of no one in my own immediate life really understanding how I felt.
The internet isn't really good at expressing your feelings for you but certainly a lot of people did a good job of trying.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sparknotes/david-bowie-illustrations_b_9010828.html?

https://www.facebook.com/Channel4News/videos/10153448177816939/

(sorry for the Facebook link)

http://blogs.channel4.com/snowblog/incredible-creative-life-force-david-bowie/26100


When you feel that close to an artist, when they speak out to you and it feels like just you, well that's something that only a songwriter can do. And remember, its all an act. But then it becomes something more as time marches on and the bond between you and the y become more real. You are watching the journey, helping because your attention is what fuels the creator...

But I've been able to keep it together simply by watching so many of the interviews more than the music.
His music has been and I'm sure will continue to be, the soundtrack to parts of my life. The fact that the well is now dry shouldn't change what I digest and when. I'm often listening to Hunky Dory these days and that's 45 year-old stuff. I imagine it'll still feel fresh in 45 more years when we're not around.

But the interviews are the thing that should keep reminding you that he had a journey which he was able to make all about him. I can think of a lot of times where my friends were "fuck that poof!" "that is so lame" or "he was good once", but I managed to find the merit even in the years where I didn't like the output, simply because he managed to take it on the road and integrate so much of the previous material into the mix.

I dunno.

Maybe his wife's tweet on the day he died should have been the only good takeaway for troubled souls like us.

Start, just start.

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EevardPosted at 2016-02-22 18:48:58(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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I know the feeling.

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homebrewPosted at 2016-02-23 03:07:49(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. I just miss him so. This past Saturday I went to karaoke with my friends and they said I should sing Heroes... one that I've always done and is a favorite of one of my dear friends. So I tried but couldn't finish because I got so choked up.

Last edited by homebrew on 2016-02-23 03:11:31



""I don't begrudge any artist for finding an audience"
- David Bowie abt. 1987
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LofricDonatedPosted at 2016-02-23 06:47:35(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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On Saturday in a small town about 7 miles from where I live a group of artists, photographers and fans held an event called 'AladdinTod' at the Town Hall.

Both it and my town, were devastated by the recent floods (including the local independent record and cd store but we'll leave that one).

The exhibition was a date sorted set of tables of memorabilia from people's collections, t-shirts, posters, books, rare vinyl and limited edition prints (only 5 printed per run - four Live Photos - I bought two - Manchester Free Trade Hall and an Isolar London shot)

The event was aimed at raising funds for Cancer Research and also investment in the flood fund for those washed out. It had had a mention on Bowie Wonderland.

There were messages of support on the wall for this event from Angie, Woody Woodmansey, Mike Garson and 'Hutch', letters from David and family to each other and fans which I found amazing and also touching.

The strange thing was that although everyone was enjoying what they saw the atmosphere was like being in a church. Very quiet, very reserved and reverential. It was a very emotional room, some smiles ,some laughs, some tears.

I spoke to numerous people explaining why through lifelong enjoyment of David and his music- from the age of 11 - and I can prove I saw his Starman TOTP appearance and yes it did blow my mind! - I shared a birthday with him and felt so devastated when he died. I admitted I cried and most said they did too.

Everyone but everyone was either almost genuflectory or emotional and although it was silent there was so much love for David and each other for the hour I was there.

You aren't in any way alone and should remember that.  

It is a very special thing we have and I for one mean to keep it alive.[i][/i]

Last edited by Lofric on 2016-02-23 06:52:25


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DavesolarDonatedPosted at 2016-02-23 09:13:20(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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@Lofric : thank You for this touching description!

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rossyPosted at 2016-02-23 17:28:03(479 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)


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You are not alone. I have the same problem, I just stopped listening to his music since he died, especially the Blackstar album.
And if by chance I get to listen to one of his songs on the radio or anywhere, I feel a void in my stomach. Not to speak of videos...the other day I was dining with my family watching Capital TV and suddenly the Lazarus video came up. I said nothing but I noticed we were all silent, probably my daughter and husband felt I was feeling horrible.
That's how it is...I guess it takes time.

In a way I guess it's normal, if a person you know well passes away you try not to listen to his voice or watch videos, at least not for a while, it hurts too much. For example, since bewley (former MWP Admin) passed away I never watched pics/videos or listened to any recordings of his voice I have in my HD, for we were very close friends and it still hurts.
But in Bowie's case we just get to hear him and see him in many places, so it can be hard on some of us.
I'm not saying Bowie's death has the same emotional impact as a person you loved and knew well, but to me he was always there since I was 14, and although I never spoke to him I feel a part of me is gone. So it does hurt too.


Almost Human
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spyprettygirlPosted at 2016-02-28 09:29:57(478 wks ago) (Bowie General / I still can't listen)
Can'tForgetYou, Can'tForgetYou


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I know the feeling, too! I've avoided nearly everything, all the music I love - managed to listen to Low once while cooking.  Then, last week I thought I was ready and instead tortured myself and listened to David Bowie because I wanted to hear the young naive bowie laughing whole heartedly and pouring out his heart before fame set in.  I cried the entire time.  

Today my daughter said "hey you have some music on your phone, right?" I was like, uh, yean I think so...she put on at random It's No Game and it was perfect.  I didn't cry. I sang all the lyrics really loud for her so she could understand them - because we were listening in a noisy e bike and traffic on an Iphone. I think I'm almost ready to watch a video or two.

He was not family but he was strangely close.  DB's been in my life since I was 11 years old and I'm 45 now.

Last edited by spyprettygirl on 2016-02-28 09:31:34


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